There are times when you need to laugh a bit in this terribly sad fashion industry.
Luckily, there are always wonderfully inspiring useless people and demented pieces of news to provide us with endless hours of fun.
Here's a quick round up for that much needed Saturday fun.
Drugs do work (at least the ones used by Lapo Elkann)
The last few days must have been pretty uneventful if one of the main scoops on WWD's site yesterday was dedicated to Lapo Elkann's capsule collection for Gucci being presented in Tokyo on Thursday night.
More famous in Italy for his family, money, drug habits and vomit-inducing sense of style, Elkann told WWD: "I think that what we are seeing tonight has no competition. Tom Ford, [Ermenegildo] Zegna are not the brands that I fear in this scenario because the quality and the level of the product is higher...in leather goods, we haven't looked at being close to [Louis] Vuitton, but we have looked at being close to Hermes."
Now, comparing your work to anybody in an interview about you is already a faux pas, but picking labels that have more history and experience than you is a little bit presumptuous. Telling a journalist you're not trying to be Vuitton but Hermès is also lame rather than clever. But it wasn't all: Lapo's capsule for Gucci is indeed a made-to-measure collection with emphasis on modern and sexy lines, because according to the "designer" himself, a lot of contemporary tailors (apparently, he tried them all...) are too expensive (while Gucci is cheap) and sell garments characterised by an old school fit (while going around dressed in vomit-inducing colours and prints is so new school). Amazing how money (and drugs?) can obnubilate a rich man's mind to the point he can't think and speak in a coherent way.
Funny how Lapo wants to be exclusive and unique, though: imitations of his Italia Independent sunglasses with velvety frames are all over Italy's illegal market stalls. A proof of popularity, you say? Or a proof that what you can replicate is not so exclusive and probably came out of the same factory. Ok, I admit it, I'm talking like this because I'm jealous: in fact I wished I had interviewed Lapo and taped him as well. Such a recording would have provided endless hours of fun during terribly depressing moments.
Blessed Franca Sozzani, Future Publicist to Kim Kardashian
By now Franca Sozzani's blog on Vogue.it has become a sort of pile of assorted personal thoughts by a woman with a penchant for exclamation marks who every now and then finds herself in the unfortunate position of having to defend herself from the comments left by the visitors of her Instagram profile.
On her 23rd May entry she announced she was going to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding, stating: "An iconic couple of our time, definitely for what regards their media presence and their looks, but also as a symbol of the ability to express a talent in music - Kanye - and to become an icon and a role model - Kim. She has almost 15 million followers on Instagram, over 20 million fans on Facebook and as many on Twitter..."
Sounding a bit biased, you say? Well, you've just been invited to the wedding, Anna "Palpatine" Wintour has just finished brainwashing you with that April cover, you can't expect her to say bad things about the couple of the century. Yet the fact that she talks about them like persistent icons, elevating a woman with no substance to "role model", worries you a lot, not to mention the emphasis on quantity rather than quality (in an age in which it is possible to buy followers and pretend you're popular...).
But it wasn't over, three days passed and, enraged by some negative comments about the wedding and the iconic status of Kanye and Kim left on her Instagram profile, Sozzani felt she had to defend them again on her blog. On 26th May she wrote about the Kardashians (note: if I had been her editor I would have fired her for overuse of exclamation marks; note also once again the emphasis on quantity): "Together, the sisters and the mother have 60,000,000 (sixty million!!!) followers on Instagram, not to mention the business they have created, the TV channel, the fashion lines etc...Nobody can deny they are a true phenomenon. It's too easy to say everything started with a porn video!!! Many other girls did the same, and are still unknown or were just ignored. Too easy to say they are the sign of the time, meaning they are tacky! Just open any trash magazine and you will see that tackiness dominates, but after a few months everything fades away (...) We have to admit they did it right. In a world where everyone is elbowing their way to the top, they, the Kardashian's, have made themselves known and have fans also among weighty personalities such as Steve McQueen, the multi-awarded director of "12 Years a Slave", or John Legend and Valentino, of whom anything can be said, but definitely not that he has ever pushed women to dress tackily. Valentino, the Last Emperor of elegance!"
Apologies for the long quote, but this is just amazing. No publicist or loyal PR officer would have managed to put together such an a***licking quote that closes with a remark about meeting the Kardashians being a bit like meeting a family that "has created an empire on communication". Wow. What about other families or visionary entrepreneurs who built empires on a solid work ethic and actually produced not just wealth for themselves, but also jobs for other people? Guess that doesn't necessarily make such families or entrepreneurs fashionable from Sozzani'spoint of view.
Anyway, Sozzani closed that post rebuking her critics and highlighting how there is room for everybody. I'm afraid, Franca, this is simply not true: try to get an article that points out the conflicts of interest in her career and role published in ANY fashion magazine and you will realise nobody will accept it. Try to dissent with the opinion of certain key players in the fashion industry and you will be ignored. Try to criticise somebody in power and you will be criticised in return as being jealous of their position. The thing is, maybe there is too much space for useless and talentless people, dear Franca, and too much hypocrisy in the fashion industry, don't you think so?
So Useless, So Moschifo
Franco Moschino quite often used to play with his name: on some of his T-shirts he printed the word "Moschifo", a pun on his surname and the Italian word "schifo" (disgusting). The word came to my mind yesterday when the brand released its latest generations of cute and useless phone/table covers (with so many annoyingly protruding space-reducing bits and pieces that Ryanair will soon put an extra tax on people carrying them). If you really don't know how to splash your money, now you can choose among many overpriced toxic plastic covers by Moschino. The most risible ones? Gennarino the bear that, seen from behind, looks like committing lewd and lascivious acts on your tablet (available also in a piss yellow colour), or Carolina, the happy cow squashed under a car/bus/tractor and now gracing an iPhone cover. So fun. So eccentric. So useless. So Moschifo.
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